Hearts And Minds
Today's Story on ADAPTING TO CHANGE: It is how you perceive adapting to change that makes the difference. It will either be a hindrance or a help. Most people automatically think it is a hindrance; but we must quickly adapt and find the positives. We must be prepared to 'move on' and work with new pastures, new territories and new circumstances. How many times have you compared your life to that of an animal? You may have done an action and then justified it by drawing a parallel in nature. This maybe one of the very few occasions you use the word justify in the correct position. If a stone is uplifted and we find a colony of insects living there, they seem to immediately adjust by looking for a new stone. We as humans would try and demand the stone be put back, perhaps it may be worth a consideration but we must no allow it to dominate our thought for months and years. Today's story illustrates a woman who makes the move to address a problem in her life; and how she uses a valuable lesson from her pet. LESSONS I LEARNED FROM MERLIN For the last hour, I've been scuffling about my kitchen in a man's size 13 UGG slippers (it's not a hazard as long as I don't try the stairs), whipping up a sugar cookie recipe that requires a full pound of Crisco, and wondering how in the world I'm going to write my year's holiday letter. I'm going to start with an event that occurred today. It's not meant to be morbid, so kindly bear with me. Today, my Great Pyrenees, Merlin, came home to me by way of a UPS truck. My beloved, forever shedding partner in crime these last 11 years passed on to another form of life on December 8th. He died because half of his heart had given out, proving my suspicions from his puppy-hood that he, like the Whoville Grinch, had a heart that was simply several sizes too big. After I kissed his nose for the last time, I arranged to have his ashes delivered to me, which was supposed to take a day or two. Instead, they called me yesterday (14 days later) to tell me they'd accidentally tried to deliver him to another family and that he was still on the UPS truck, on his way to me this time. Today, true to form, a sweating UPS truck driver sprinted to my door with Merlin solidly lodged under his arm. As I carried Merlin (in his new state, housed in a small cedar chest) upstairs, I couldn't help but chuckle. Nothing in the entire world caused greater gnashing-of-teeth for Merlin than the UPS truck and its men in brown. It was the only single thing that taunted him into trampling down fences and sprinting for blocks down rush-hour traffic streets.and here's how he ended up, lodged in the bowels of the evil incarnate monster itself (AND during the holiday season to boot) in herky-jerky, stop-and-go fashion for two full weeks. That, my friend, is Karma. Take it from Merlin: If you're chasing after anything in life with some level of misdirected anger, that very thing will likely get the better of you in the end. That being said, I'll give Merlin credit for helping me maintain misdirected anger over the last 11 years - even this last year. Merlin was a high-spirited creature who liked to skitter around on his tippy-toes and create instant wainscoting in every home by sliding drooly, dirty tennis balls along the wall. But he'd also follow me from room to room when he knew I was upset until I'd finally flump down and throw my arms around him. He loved me unconditionally with great warmth and a giving soul that knew no other way to be. And that was a lesson I did, indeed, learn from Merlin. This last year didn't start well as a man I cared for deeply did a sudden about-face just weeks before the holiday. It came as a complete surprise to me and, though my friends and family gathered around me in protective and cheerful stance, I was very bah-humbug through the season. As the New Year began, I found myself struggling with clients I didn't really like, and paying rent I didn't really want to pay anymore. So, 'round about March, Merlin and I had a talk and decided to stop with the misdirected anger and start creating a better story. And so we did. As I say in all the stuff I write, "If you don't like the situation you're in, recognize you created it and fix it." It was time to take my own medicine. Merlin and I drove all around Laguna Beach in my little convertible until we found our new home. With the move made to a place just a block from the beach, I then tackled the not-liking-my-clients issue with Grim Reaper determination. Fact is, if you're not doing what you love to do every day, you're cheating yourself. I knew there were too many good and exciting people out there to work with and as I focused on this fact, those very people started coming in the door. It wasn't until July that I got up the nerve to e-mail the one person I wanted to work with most - a past client by the name of Robert. Robert and I have tried and failed at working together twice before, and hitting that initial "SEND" button this time around wasn't easy. Ten minutes later, however, we were on our way to working together again and now I'm his Vice President of Marketing. I delight in what I do every day for this man's company. It's not easy and it's got its tenuous, warbly-chin, pounding headache moments. But, I delight in it, pure and simple as that. It's supposed to be that simple, I believe. Through this client, I even happened upon my dream web programming team, a team that's quite capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound AND in record time. What I find most amazing is that I was prepared to NOT like working with them. Fortunately, somewhere along the way, I realized that chasing them down rush-hour streets while barking my fool head off was only going to succeed in getting ME killed - yet another lesson I learned from Merlin, who always and eventually gave up the chase with a shrug. So, here I sit on Christmas Eve's Eve with Merlin perched on my lap. (This must be nirvana for Merlin - he is, at last, a lap dog.) And his lessons are here in my head: - If you chase after something in anger, it will find a way to bite you back. - Be sure to follow your closest friends from room to room when you know they're upset. - Give generously of your warmth and soul. You've got more where that came from. - Be the first to press the "SEND" button when you haven't talked to someone in a while. - If you're trying to chase something off because it seems like a threat to you, it might be better to stop, shrug and give it up. - Delight in your days. It's supposed to be that simple. - And lastly, never lose sight of your family and friends. They're the home you want to return to, even if the only way to get there is by UPS truck. (Diane Armitage, A published writer for three decades.) QUOTE: "Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.' (Thomas Jefferson)
Next page: Attitudes
Hearts And Minds News
The Politics of Arrogance and Naked Ambition - Huffington Post
21 May 2012 at 3:30pm As an ex-Peace Corps volunteer who served in India in the 1960s, I'm stunned at how poorly America's "hearts and minds" campaign is being conducted in Afghanistan. Incredibly, it appears that the combination of can-do optimism, institutional ...Read more...
The Hearts and Minds of Animals: A Discussion with Dr. Marc Bekoff - Forbes
21 May 2012 at 12:39pm Michael Tobias: So few scientists ever speak of animal consciousness, inter-species empathy, deep ethology, the sentience that surrounds us?. Michael Tobias: Where have the myriad of interpretations of Darwin led many researchers down blind ...Read more...
Core Wars: Inside Intel's power struggle with NVIDIA - The Register
21 May 2012 at 6:55am GPU Technology Conference Intel and NVIDIA are battling for the hearts and minds of developers in massively parallel computing. Intel has been saying for years that concurrency rather than clock speed is the future of high performance computing ...Read more...
Iain Gray: Music changes the world one note at a time - scotsman.com
19 May 2012 at 12:19pm UNICYCLING and stiltwalking revolutionaries lack the appeal of a force that speaks to hearts and minds, writes Iain Gray The other day, a flyer crossed my desk advertising a drama workshop against austerity and the cuts. In the eighties, when I lived and ...Read more...
How to Lose Hearts and Minds - Daily Beast
18 May 2012 at 7:49am I hope you have plans to enjoy yourselves in Chicago next week, because otherwise it's hard to see why you even bother to make the trip. You are certainly not accomplishing anything for your cause, any more than the Occupy Wall Street protesters ...Read more...
Top ACT Score First Step for Marian Catholic Junior - eNews Park Forest
17 May 2012 at 5:58pm Chicago Heights, IL-(ENEWSPF)-Striking fear in the hearts and minds of many high school juniors is the ACT test, the test which renders the number that will follow them through their senior year college application process and beyond. Fraught with dread ...Read more...
Barack Obama Conducts a War on Women...?s Hearts and Minds! - Nymag.com
13 May 2012 at 5:56pm If you've tuned in at all to the 2012 campaign this week, you may have noticed that President Obama has been going after the ladies, hard. There was yesterday's appearance on The View. The hastily arranged Barnard graduation speech on Monday, for which the ...Read more...
Ospreys seek to win hearts and minds as well as titles - BBC News
10 May 2012 at 11:04am Being the victim of a robbery on the streets of a foreign country can rarely be described as a good thing. And although Andrew Hore does not recommend being pick-pocketed, in the case of hooker Scott Baldwin, the Ospreys' chief operating officer is ...Read more...
Vietnamese war ... Read description :)?
Need help with history ...
The only way the USA could beat the Vietcong was to win the 'hearts and minds' of the local populations. Do you agree ? Explain your answer.
Help please ... :)
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this is a stroy i have done what do you think of it?
so i write storys when i feel low or really depressed here one of them enjoy:
The true colours of the story
People would stare at him like he was something different, like he was a myth which was just found to be true, a disease which was contagious if people went near.
Some whispered behind him back where others gladly talked loudly in front of him. He was just another lost soul in a world full of liars and cheats. People who took life for granted and lived like they owned the ground they walked on. But He knew different, he knew what the world held for people. The way they acted would all lead to something else in their lives, like a chain reaction, just one domino after another and one fall after each other.
The guy lived in a world full of people who didn?t understand him, people he couldn?t stand to understand back, Just a life of lie after lie and fake smiles. Oh he wished he could just vanish and that he never existed, he would often wonder what the world would be like if he was never born. At times he just wants to end it all, go out and just step in front of speeding car or just take that small step away from the platform of a near by train station.
The time he finally finds someone who likes him, for who he was, the guy finds that something stops them, something always gets in the way of him when he tries to speak his true words from the heart and mind, he wanted to say everything his heart felt, everything his mind said but he couldn?t, he never could! He blames himself when things go wrong, he feels like it?s his fault. There?s always something he says that puts a wedge between them,
But in all of reality, he?s just scared, scared of getting hurt again, scared to let his heart escape his chest for someone to hold in their hands sweetly. The guy don?t want to be known as the quiet kid who sits in the back of the class room with his music just getting on with his work, he wants to be able to express himself, getting in with everyone else and live a life which isn?t full of lies.
??Im fine?? he says all the time or, ??There?s nothing wrong really?? but no one knows the look in his eyes, the one which says ?everything?s wrong?. All he wants is for someone to not ask but just to pull him in to a hug and just tell him that everything is going to be okay. He knew that everything was not ok at home or that everything was just going downhill slowly but it was happening he knew that something bad was going to happen every day he thinks that but someday he surprised himself that the day went well.
Often he asks himself, what?s the point? What?s the point of trying to be someone who your not? And every time he answers himself this. The only thing he knows is how to write, page after page off things which he will never share, things which no one will ever know exist, like him. he uses his words to tell a story, a page by page account of how his mind thinks and works. Hoping that one day someone will come along and draw him away, let him escape from the world of text and letters. Someone to show him the true beauty which processes inside of him, someone to make him believe in life itself and someone to show him what true love is all about. He just looks at everything through a glass not knowing what?s real and what?s fake, the guy needs somebody to help him break through it, to smash it to pieces and help him escape the condiments? of his comfort zone to teach him not to be scared of showing feelings. In all of reality this guy just needs someone to be there for him, to look after him and to understand him. Just to give him a hug now and again without saying a word at all. Sometimes in life, people have moments where they just don?t want to carry on anymore but through it on, they still need to carry on and this is what the guy is doing, he is fighting a never ending battle whether to give up or keep going and be strong AND LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL!
There is this one song he listen to over and over again it called beautiful by Eminem this songs tells you how his life has been and what has happen. The songs the connection he has with music can make him sad or happy all in one day.
Once upon a time, he knew what he wanted, he had everything planned out and believed in life itself. Everything was held he was happy with it all.
But something changed and so did he, his heart turned grey as his world started to unfold and crumble around him, the girl he once loved broke his heart so badly that he wanted to give up it all was so close that he drew in to himself. He cut himself of from everyone around him, stopped talking to some of his most closes friends and hid himself away. he stopped believing in love and he stopped believing in hope, once again he blamed himself for the girl breaking his heart, he blamed himself for telling her that he had loved her, often he wondered ?what if I didn?t tell her? it would all be different, they would still be friends today maybe just maybe.
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What is a good thing to give in this tricky situation?
I've just met my grandmother for the first time. She's dying of cancer and doesn't have long to live.
We were speaking like we'd been in each others lives the whole time and I want to take something into hospital for her. Something that shows her I've always thought of her in the past, she's always been in my heart and mind and she will continue to be when she reaches her end.
Flowers and chocolates just don't cut it...
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Why would a woman stay with a known cheater if she left another for him.?
If her heart was with her fiance but the r/s was a little strained. She was working in a very hard job in Lebanon (long hours, low pay, w/children-tutoring). Meet some friends...one of their male friends started bashing her fiance..she left him even though they were long distance (she was British, he American) in a long 2 year LDR...meeting for the first time...the distance and lack of communication strained them but they were engaged.
She cheats with the eventual replacement but claims to be in love. He has been suspected of cheating no her and has been caught a couple times. She kept her ex-fiance hanging on b/c he had saved up money to meet for Christmas. She booked the room, but they only spoke twice through Skype before that date..and she was warm on camera..as she was during the long r/s mostly exclusively from Skype. They were engaged for a year...broke up after he caught her cheating from Facebook. She said there were problems in the r/s..but would never talk about them..b/c it was so painful...slowly getting colder..until the rare cam sessions..twice...the last in early October...the first in September she was obviously blushing... However, the talking about a r/s which nearly every free moment was spent on Skype w/each other b/f Lebanon's work divided them..they were happy....but she never wanted to talk about the positives anymore..changing the history of the r/s to start more drama..including lies.
Even though she cheated (but not sexually) and he wanted to continue the r/s...to keep from the pain, the talk was meant to happen on Christmas. There were clues sprinkled that her feelings were still strong..but in emails, she was ice cold. Even as he pined to see her art forever...she made a picture for him on her FB page...the first time she displayed her art for him and made a new picture since the r/s started. Since he didn't see this b/c he was blocked from her FB..but she knew he had access through another acct but they were contentious..she refused (the week of his flight) to see him. He had paid in rooms and cost to fly to Britain 3000 dollars..but was still snubbed.
The replacement has proven to be a serial cheater to her now...her British friends do not like him or support the r/s in any way. She loves him for co-dependence only, b/c he was going to leave her after being found out...but she begged him back. What does this when there's clearly feelings for the ex...protection...malice for putting her in a position where her heart and mind clashed....brainwashing from a hard job? Every sign other than email and actions once a choice had to be made about talking about what failed the relationship face to face had been that there was a strong love and attachment to the ex-fiance..but she wanted to prove that "she didn't need him". What is this all about and how would someone willingly be cheated on to spite the other r/s. In the beginning of the breakdown, she claimed it was the best r/s she'd ever had and there was little chance of finding another that made her feel that way..but the LDR was unrealistic.
The ex-fiance, through his university is going to an exchange program near her university for a year. She is one strict NC with him after the Christmas fallout, where she did return to Lebanon and had sex with the replacement. This was a two year buildup to engagement with the ex. Any opinions? It seems insane and has both bankrupted for a while and embarrassed the ex..that had no problems in the r/s prior to the horrible work conditions that broke of their communication...and they argued about the conditions she suffered.
And he was called out for attempting to cheat...again...right after she forgave him when he was about to leave with honor..the ex checked and he had even more female MSN contacts. It might sound hopeless..but it is destroying the ex. When they were together, they were best friends, spent nearly all free time barring social/work/school obligations together. She even skipped a year of school and used him a a distant source of entertainment during the year b/c of a failure with an advisor at her A-level college. How can two people that were so close be strictly NC? How can a person completely negate their feelings when they know their actions have caused so much pain and is contrary to anything they're ever believed and been? Can someone be manipulated by peer pressure..protected by a group. She was drinking heavily when she cheated initially b/c the work was so horrible; the pay and hours not even close (2 dollars American\hr and Lebanon is far more expensive but she had room/boar
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Is there any name for this flight then spite syndrome?
If her heart was with her fiance but the r/s was a little strained. She was working in a very hard job in Lebanon (long hours, low pay, w/children-tutoring). Meet some friends...one of their male friends started bashing her fiance..she left him even though they were long distance (she was British, he American) in a long 2 year LDR...meeting for the first time...the distance and lack of communication strained them but they were engaged.
She cheats with the eventual replacement but claims to be in love. He has been suspected of cheating no her and has been caught a couple times. She kept her ex-fiance hanging on b/c he had saved up money to meet for Christmas. She booked the room, but they only spoke twice through Skype before that date..and she was warm on camera..as she was during the long r/s mostly exclusively from Skype. They were engaged for a year...broke up after he caught her cheating from Facebook. She said there were problems in the r/s..but would never talk about them..b/c it was so painful...slowly getting colder..until the rare cam sessions..twice...the last in early October...the first in September she was obviously blushing... However, the talking about a r/s which nearly every free moment was spent on Skype w/each other b/f Lebanon's work divided them..they were happy....but she never wanted to talk about the positives anymore..changing the history of the r/s to start more drama..including lies.
Even though she cheated (but not sexually) and he wanted to continue the r/s...to keep from the pain, the talk was meant to happen on Christmas. There were clues sprinkled that her feelings were still strong..but in emails, she was ice cold. Even as he pined to see her art forever...she made a picture for him on her FB page...the first time she displayed her art for him and made a new picture since the r/s started. Since he didn't see this b/c he was blocked from her FB..but she knew he had access through another acct but they were contentious..she refused (the week of his flight) to see him. He had paid in rooms and cost to fly to Britain 3000 dollars..but was still snubbed.
The replacement has proven to be a serial cheater to her now...her British friends do not like him or support the r/s in any way. She loves him for co-dependence only, b/c he was going to leave her after being found out...but she begged him back. What does this when there's clearly feelings for the ex...protection...malice for putting her in a position where her heart and mind clashed....brainwashing from a hard job? Every sign other than email and actions once a choice had to be made about talking about what failed the relationship face to face had been that there was a strong love and attachment to the ex-fiance..but she wanted to prove that "she didn't need him". What is this all about and how would someone willingly be cheated on to spite the other r/s. In the beginning of the breakdown, she claimed it was the best r/s she'd ever had and there was little chance of finding another that made her feel that way..but the LDR was unrealistic.
The ex-fiance, through his university is going to an exchange program near her university for a year. She is one strict NC with him after the Christmas fallout, where she did return to Lebanon and had sex with the replacement. This was a two year buildup to engagement with the ex. Any opinions? It seems insane and has both bankrupted for a while and embarrassed the ex..that had no problems in the r/s prior to the horrible work conditions that broke of their communication...and they argued about the conditions she suffered..
And he was called out for attempting to cheat...again...right after she forgave him when he was about to leave with honor..the ex checked and he had even more female MSN contacts. It might sound hopeless..but it is destroying the ex. When they were together, they were best friends, spent nearly all free time barring social/work/school obligations together. She even skipped a year of school and used him a a distant source of entertainment during the year b/c of a failure with an advisor at her A-level college. How can two people that were so close be strictly NC? How can a person completely negate their feelings when they know their actions have caused so much pain and is contrary to anything they're ever believed and been? Can someone be manipulated by peer pressure..protected by a group. She was drinking heavily when she cheated initially b/c the work was so horrible; the pay and hours not even close (2 dollars American\hr and Lebanon is far more expensive but she had room/board at a resort) to being able to have an easy go of it. She said she'd aged, but blamed the fiance for needing him..and he was heavy in studies and focused on her as well, but felt she should stand up for lower hours..more freedom. HELP PLEASE! The depression is destroying him..the new man gets away with murder. What is this?
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