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100 WAYS TO IMPROVE
YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
100 Ways to IMPROVE Your Self-Esteem
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First it is
important to understand the exact meaning of ‘Self-Esteem’. The Oxford English
Dictionary definition is:
“One’s good opinion of one-self.”
What in essence we are trying to achieve with these 100 ways is to trigger a way
back to a happy and contented state of mind.
Many people, and the psychology profession wouldn’t be able to survive without
them, use the process of improving SELF-ESTEEM as an important step to the
development of feeling good about one-self again.
This pathway back to a ‘good sense of worth’ may not be achieved with these 100
ways alone, but we can assure you that you will have been elevated sufficiently
to see what’s required next.
Allow me to just illustrate with a little story how we underestimate our worth:
THE BIG BANK NOTE
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a huge bank note. Not
huge in size, but huge in value.
In this room were 200 people, he asked, "Who would like to accept this bank note
of immense value?"
Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this bank note to one of
you but first, let me do this. "He proceeded to crumple the bank note up. He
then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and
started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all
crumpled and dirty.
"Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.
My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to
the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was
still worth the immense amount as printed on each face of the note.
Many times in our lives, WE are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by
the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though
we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your
value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or creased, you are still priceless to this
life.
You are special - Don't ever forget it!
(Unknown Author)
We all have moments each year, each month, each week, each day and each hour
where we may have sensed a period of sadness ensuing. It could have been a
verbal attack on our character, it could have been a series of bad events.
Whatever happens to you may never happen to anyone else; these routes to the
doldrums are very personal.
Negativity is a sore point for any individual, so we need to develop a process
of rising through these periods of confusion, and these are best defeated with
us in a stronger frame of mind.
Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not
thinking bad for no reason!
Notice the small differences as they happen. Persevere and don't expect
everything at once. Beating low self esteem is a wonderful thing, and it's much
easier than you'd imagine.
“The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you
forget to be afraid.” (Lady Bird Johnson).
1. Amongst this report are 100 ways to improve your self-esteem. Each and every
way needs and involves a certain skill. This skill is all about practicing. We
must understand how important it is to practice. Try and recall any moment in
your life where you have had a need to practice.
This moment is very important! All these tips need the ability and understanding
on how to practice. Repeat, repeat and repeat until the habit becomes a good
habit. Once you have practiced this skill, you have an open door to a better
self-esteem at any moment.
2. Emotions attach themselves to memories. If you have a low self-esteem then
the guarantee is that the memories are poor or sad. As a consequence your
emotional state is weak. The opposite applies. Attach yourself to pleasant
memories and the positive emotions will flow.
3. SELF CONSCIOUSNESS = BAD SELF CONFIDENCE. Practice on how to keep your
attention off yourself! Every time you begin to feel a little anxious as a
result of experiencing self consciousness, take your power of attention and rest
it onto something you enjoy. This will not necessarily be a momentary event, but
a period of say 5 minutes to an hour. Pick up your favourite book and become
immersed in the plot or the topic. This shift of attention will remove the
emphasis away for you, allowing an inner calm to develop and subsequent strength
to grow.
4. Self consciousness arises generally because we have time to think. If we have
a 15 minute wait for a job interview, the chances that we think about ourselves
is highly likely. The answer then is to occupy our mind on other things during
this waiting period. Take a book, put some plans into your diary, examine
details about the company you are being interviewed at, or read a magazine. The
moment you enter the waiting room your self-esteem maybe high, constructively
employing this tactic to occupy your mind, your self-esteem will remain high for
the interview.
5. Accept your nature… Begin to accept your own nature more readily, with very
little that needs changing or fixing. So what! You can be a few minutes late, be
an ‘afternoon’ person, only come alive at night, speak out of turn, interrupt or
whatever; it is your nature! Take a moment of deep thought, fill your lungs with
air, this deep and affirming breath is a recognition and a self appreciation and
love for your true nature. You have come this far in life, you are complete as
you are!
6. Learn to say SORRY… Everyone makes mistakes. If you’ve spoken badly about
someone, put it right immediately. Apologize and wait to make sure they forgive
you.
7. Be honest… Honesty is the best policy. Be careful to always tell the truth,
otherwise ‘You’ll be off-track.’ Self-esteem is difficult to keep ‘on-track’
when you are apt to tell a few lies or white lies.
8. Low self-esteem can be as a result of an assumption. Assumptions are not
fact! Challenge your own assumptions because they can cause you pain and
anguish.
9. “If you think you CAN or you think you CAN’T, you're right" -Henry Ford. It
is your state of mind that determines your commitment. Believe and you have
strength.
10. The strength of your own Self Esteem has often been identified as how easy
you deal with pain. An indirect way to improve self-esteem is to work out how
best you can resolve emotional pain and how soon. Using an apt quote is often a
good solution.
11. Forget your past mistakes and FOCUS on your successes encouraging yourself
to greater achievements in the future.
12. It is not always where you are that determines the depth and quality of your
self-esteem. If you have good intentions ALONE your self esteem begins to grow.
13. A souvenir has attributes that cannot be easily defined, but is often
closely connected with a vivid pleasant memory. Keep these souvenirs close to
hand, they have the skill to give you strength, when you have strength your
self-esteem will grow.
14. Music can be a very important aspect of our life. Never forget this! As a
consequence you will invariably have one or two songs or even a full album of
music that makes you happy. Engulf yourself within this music. Your sense of
wellbeing will return.
15. A pleasant memory can improve your state of mind. Flick through the archives
in your mind and choose a good one, so good in fact that it gives you a flutter.
This flutter is your smile; when you smile your self-confidence is sucked, as if
by syringe, into your consciousness.
16. Draw Energy & Excitement… Rather than dwell on parts of the day that is full
of guilt and paralysis, draw instead energy and excitement. Work with ‘who you
are’, draw strength from the positives within your day. Use these positives as a
starting point; rejoice that there is some good!
17. Affirmations… Good or bad? Good! They work for everyone if they are
introduced properly. They always need to be written in the present moment, as if
they are happening; they always should be positive. For example don’t say, “I am
going to get better at communicating,” the very implication here is that it is
going to happen. You must re-phrase the negative into a positive and say, “This
better communication skill I have will give my life the uplift it needs.”
18. Improve your body posture... To slump on a desk is not what is required when
a good friend is expecting a sympathetic ear. In conversation mirror your
interest with a positive body posture. If you are not interested, get use to
being diplomatic
19. Avoid poor body language... Evil words are bad, but so it body language.
Improve your body posture
20. Speak no evil… Say only positive statements. Let words of kindness be on
your tongue.
21. Hear no evil… Refuse to listen to gossip, slander and other negative forms
of speech.
22. Learn to relax… Our day can be full of push, push, push, or do, do, do! Too
much of this can deflate us without proper rest. Rest long enough to gather
strength and no longer. Short spells of rest can affect our mental
effectiveness. The more effective the more efficient.
23. Introduce more relaxation... In your attempt to improve your self-esteem you
must be aware of how important being in a good frame of mind can be. Relaxation
is one of the major keys to unlock this improvement. There is no need to remind
you about the problems stress and high blood pressure can bring, so to avoid
this health risk, arrange some time for preventative relaxation cures.
24. Find peace and solitude... For some the answer may be meditation and yoga,
for others in maybe fishing, golfing, cooking, going to the gym, walking in the
hills, jogging around the block or simply doing the ironing. Whatever it is...
find it, and visit there often.
25. Don’t rush... Do you ever try and fit a 45 minute task in 30 minutes?
Cooking springs to mind, especially after a hard days work. Both the nutrients
in the food and the way you find a need to gobble down the food is bad for your
health. Why try and catch two buses, two coaches two planes without leaving a
little slack in your planning. Working too close to deadline is likely to
introduce stress and failure.
26. Prevent planning the unreachable... Again try and avoid overloading your
back. Set your expectations lower, otherwise you’ll feel both disappointed and
let down.
27. Quantify your plans... Too many times we exaggerate. I should be able to
complete 20 tasks today. If you only do 5, your day is a complete
disappointment. Make your daily plans simple and realistic.
28. Be resolute about time… Don’t let your mouth overload your back. If you are
invited to do a task, it would be wise to suggest it may take longer. So a
happiness is created when you finish the task before your due date.
29. Resist the bombardment of life… Learn to say no! If you don’t practice the
word ‘no’ you’ll always over commit yourself and spend half of your life
catching up. This then makes you feel bad, your self esteem is low. If at first
you say no, and then find that you have a little time, you are always able to
say yes and those who originally requested your time will be overjoyed. If you
do say no more often the bombardment will slow down in time, your time will be
more respected and the quality of when you do offer your services will be full
and complete and everyone in your presence will benefit.
30. Making plans… Resist the temptation to over schedule your day. It is often
the case that you have the desire to fit too much into your day. This desire is
often as a result of yesterday – you simply didn’t get enough done. This poor
organisation has a spiralling effect. Not enough yesterday spills into today
which then spills into the next day and so on! Realism is a difficult subject to
master, but it does help to introduce harmony.
31. Be humble… Avoid arrogance… These two are amongst your greatest weapons to
fight off other people’s destructive speech.
32. Avoid too much pride… Take pleasure in your accomplishments, not pride. Too
much pride could lead to arrogance.
33. Want!... For every improvement in life you need to WANT that change. To wish
for that change is an illusion. The want that change will create action and
result in the commencement of something better! Wanting… can create a better
focus and an intensified intention.
34. Self Discipline… Discipline use to be a dirty word for me until I realised
how self-discipline can improve your life. Us humans, for some bizarre reason,
if given a task that is needed within 10 weeks, invariably will not start the
project until week 9! If you can understand how the quality of life improves
with this little discipline, you’ll be tweaking its grip so it is stronger
forever.
35. Fear Paralysis… There are cycles in life. A women’s menstrual cycle for
example, being one with so much precision on timing. These cycles in our life
come and go… Some business and some personal cycles are good, some are bad; we
will encounter them throughout our life. When times are bad some people begin to
develop a fear which could become a full blown paralysis. In other words it
could prevent them from even leaving the house. We all seem to fear the bad
times, but we can combat them in two ways. Firstly we should remember that they
are a cycle and will disappear with time, secondly we should introduce positive
ideas, resolutions and actions. The bad times will disappear faster if we can
resolve the problem it creates within our circumstances, resolve to make them
work, take action to put your plan into action, then we can see their grip
loosen.
36. Don’t feel self-pity… Feeling sorry for yourself is not good. It is a
negative reaction, it is a big drain on your time and energy. Anything that
drains your energy encourages a low self-esteem. We cannot deny allowing a few
moments of wallowing in self-pity, but keep them very short. This very practice
of keeping them short will help remove the bad habit of expecting them to happen
in the first place.
37. Mixing in the right company… You are who you choose to mix with. If you mix
with criminals, albeit in an innocent and simple conversational way, you’ll
eventually pick up some of their methods of resolving problems. Some have
described this unwelcoming mixing as mixing with ‘poison people.’ This of course
is a shocking word and very negative, but sometimes we need a little slap on the
face to take action.
38. Don’t rely on television… In an ideal world I’m sure most people would spend
more time with their family. Isn’t it strange though, although we want that
ideal world we will not practice what takes us there!? Avoid also leaving your
children in front of the television. This is so because they are learning life’s
important principles through programmes that are nothing less than illusionary.
39. Try new things… If you do the same old things it becomes habitual. Becoming
habitual means you are not alert and fully attentive. Life soon becomes a drag,
and you self-esteem plummets. Trying new things requires your full attention.
When you have full attention you are not dwelling on your problems. Moments of
rest supercharge your batteries, as do period of full attention. Few are aware
that full attention is restful. Try taking a day off work with little to do.
This becomes the opposite of full attention. You will be sat on your sofa with a
thousand things buzzing through your head. How do you feel at the end of a day
like that? Exhausted! A day off to rest and you feel more tired than before!
Paying full attention to a new task is restful; try it and see.
40. Think of one person alone, who has said to you personally that you have
helped them. Capture this ’feel good’ feeling and remember it.
41. Imagine this story as a parallel.
A garden full of flowers; within your hand you have a butterfly net. The garden
is full of butterflies, but you only need one. Do you chase endlessly around the
garden, swiping with your net to find that 45 minutes has past and you haven’t
caught your first butterfly.
Or do you sit and admire the beauty of the garden and catch the first butterfly
that lands on the flower next to where you are sat?
42. Here is another feeling to capture. Self esteem is at its greatest when a
young child is presented with a challenge of the world.
43. Find your support group which may include your friends, family, teachers and
leaders. Your very own support group are not there to agree with your emotional
turmoil, but to SUPPORT. They are an important asset, do not abuse them.
44. Balance and Measure… To create harmony, you must understand how to introduce
balance and measure into your life. “Not too much… In equal proportions!” This
could relate to food, to organising your time or any function within your life.
Within the last seven days you will have had a moment of balance and measure. It
may have been a drink whilst slumped in your favourite chair. This is a moment
of harmony. Capture this understanding and use it to plan the rest of your life.
Twenty minutes of relaxation could supercharge your batteries and allow you to
complete the tasks within your busy day.
45. Things need to be in order… I once joked that your life will resemble the
tidiness of your lounge. Since that original quip I have had it confirmed in
various philosophical studies. Tidy up your life. Bit by bit is fine. Tidy your
house, your car, your finances. Tidy your family problems, tidy up loose ends.
All this will reduce stress and frustration.
46. Motivate yourself… You already know this is important, but I would guess you
have done nothing about it. The more organised people around us would introduce
into their life anything that motivates them. For many others and I, that would
be motivational books and tapes. Start slowly, perhaps a walk in the fresh air
around your local park. This air will invigorate and freshen your smile and
attitude. But more importantly; if it did it once, why don’t you introduce it
regularly?
47. Exercise and Sing… I’ve already just mentioned exercise, but don’t
underestimate its quality. Don’t use the car for short trips. Your body produces
acids, it burns off fat, it creates an adrenalin buzz. Exercise will lift your
soul. Singing is also a superb drug. People are happy when they sing, happy
equals good self-esteem.
48. Identify low self-esteem… This is a major point. If you can see the triggers
that catapult you into lethargy, sadness and depression, you can start working
at preventing their magnetism. If you feel any of those emotions, understand
what led you there. It maybe, that you’ve discussed the plight of your local
sports team and their miserable start to the season. This introduces a negative
emotion. In this state more upon more negative aspects of your life flood in.
49. Invest time wisely… Successful people are well organised at investing their
time wisely. They almost expect a return on their investment. Wouldn’t it be
good if you could achieve that? Not in any financial way necessarily, perhaps in
a better relationship. Go and help your work colleague to move house, this
investment could develop a relationship. Go an work in your local charity shop,
this could help improve your community image and improve the respect you are
given.
50. Break things down... Every new day you will be presented with problems, big
and small. Every one of which is surmountable, all that needs doing is to break
the problem down into workable sections.
51. Short and Long Term… This is an important aspect to fully understand. If we
plan a goal that is certainly a project that will take years, we need to avoid
expecting to bring the goal posts forward. Short term plans are often smaller or
easier to accomplish and the long term plan has more substance. If you put one
into the other category we begin to experience disappointment, this then leads
to negative vibes and an instant route to low self-esteem.
52. Find more time… If you struggle with your daily routine and on just the odd
occasion find you need more time, then try getting up a half-hour earlier in the
morning. This sacrifice of sleep will be a good determined effort to keep
everything in order. Or… Go to be a half-hour later for the same reason.
53. Relaxation or Agitation?… Understand which is which. To sit in the comfort
of your favourite sofa chair and watch television and then witness the daily
plights of some soap opera stars is not relaxation. The very term soap opera
implies trails and tribulations of characters within the series. If you can
handle these illusionary programmes with an amusing and understanding view, then
they are not damaging whatsoever. But if you use a soap opera as an example to
clarify a situation you are going through in your personal life, the programme
is not relaxing but agitating. Agitation leads to unrest which leads to a
negative attitude.
54. Let go of some commitments… Some ideas sound good at the time, but favours
become duties. Write out your day, write out your week and see what transpires.
You’ll should be able to see in an instant what aspects of your busy schedule
can be trimmed. Thinking of your day isn’t good enough, you need to write it
down in detail. If you have a fear of writing it down, this very action is a
denial. You will definitely have some skeletons in the cupboard you don’t want
to face. A polite explanation to release your heavily committed schedule is all
that is needed.
55. What jobs do you fear?... You maybe a super hero at your place of work, but
what about the gardening? Try and identify some tasks that you keep putting off.
The actual thought and fear of doing these mundane tasks can cause lethargy. The
task I don’t particularly like I do quite meticulously and consider them as
therapeutic; not everyone will have the same belief and determination. If this
fear of doing these horrible tasks is getting you depressed, the teach yourself
how to delegate responsibility. Do your children get pocket money? I’m sure
mowing the lawn is a worthy task in earning this weekly spend.
56. You are what you think… Life can be considered as being self-inflicted.
Think that life is a problem and all negative and that is the first step in
making it so. Think positive and the likelihood that positive opportunities
arise will be probable.
57. Don’t be half-hearted… Whilst this maybe considered as a step up from doing
nothing, it is only an equal to it. Don’t be an ‘all mouth and no action’
person. A no action person with good intentions still gets nothing done. The
other aspect of being half-hearted is to do a job, but not do it properly, which
could result in doing the same thing again and again. If you are going to do a
job, do it right! If you are big enough to acknowledge that you don’t have the
required skill to complete a task, the get someone else to do it. This allows
freedom both within your schedule and your persona.
58. Announce your intentions… This may only work for a few people. If you
announce you are applying for a new job, then those who you tell will ask the
next time they meet you. This may be the shove you need to start applying. If
you kept the thought to yourself, the applications may never leave your home
office desk. Brag or bust! If you tell, you may take action and progress, if you
don’t the idea will evaporate.
59. Challenge yourself… Surely at some point in your life you’ve challenged
yourself. And, in doing so will have found it exhilarating. If you fail you may
be disappointed, but be aware that Thomas Edison experimented over 2,000 times
to invent the light-bulb. In challenging yourself you’ll find it a powerful
motivator. Another option to consider here is to make the challenge good fun or
to allow yourself a prize for achieving your goal.
60. Setting goals... Goal setting is powerful, partly because it provides FOCUS.
In order to reach our goals we must become better, we must change and grow. The
major reason for setting goals is for what it makes of you to accomplish it.
61. The vision of goal-setting... Goal setting is a healthy. It gives us the
ability to hone in on the exact actions we need to accomplish our goal. We get
great satisfaction from ticking off our goals; each goal can inspire and
motivate, they make us resourceful and practical. All of these emotions are
positive. Positive emotions, equals the likelihood of good health.
62. Evaluate… Where are we now? Where do we want to be? Be realistic, ask
yourself about the circumstances you are in and answer which of them needs
changing. Plot in a reasonable and practical way how to progress to your target.
Evaluate your expectations. Expect too much and you’ll be disappointed!
63. Reflect… Reflect upon your daily progress, allow time each day. You may need
to tweak your approach. But, if you spare no time for reflection you could end
up off course.
64. Listen to yourself… In this hurly burly of life we take little time to
interpret our very own thoughts. There may be an important thought, plan or
answer trying to get in and because we are walking about with blinkers we never
get the message.
65. Apply SMART goals… Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and
Time-Sensitive. We want to set our goals so that our heart conceives, our minds
believe and our bodies can carry them out.
66. Become Accountable… Tell a few people of your plans. It is almost like
having a verbal contract. These people will as a matter of course in
conversation ask how your plans are coming along. You then become accountable
and you’ll find a driving force to achieve them.
67. Understand the possibilities… If you can see the dream, you can be the
dream. Seeing and sensing the possibilities helps motivate you. If you educate
yourself with the possibilities available, the path is easier to select.
68. Explore the understanding… Each insight you come across, one of which will
eventually be the one that everyone else can’t see. The people who are
successful see what is not obvious to others.
69. Keep introducing options… The more options you have the clearer the puzzle
becomes. Pursue options and you could travel down a road no other person has
considered, allowing you to be the first and the one to experience most.
70. Set smaller goals… Begin to set smaller more realistic goals. Increase both
the regularity and size of the goal as you begin to achieve them more
frequently. This method releases the frustration and guilt you had felt as a
procrastinator.
71. Avoid neglecting signs…Along each path will be a serious of signs, not
necessarily visible, but they may come along to warn you of danger. If a door is
locked or the phone isn’t answered, could be signs to move onto a different
path. If you ignore these signs you maybe too far down one road to turn around
successfully without taking a few bumps.
72. Look inside for you…To apply all these important principles you will need to
know the real you. Self discover the inner self as everything is routed from
there. If you look inside for energy and you look too shallow, the power will be
weak, the determination will be poor and the effort minimal. Take a dip a little
deeper, the strength that arises and determination will become its own
inspiration. Enjoy this deeper dip as you’ll need to visit there again.
73. Avoid having nothing to do… Invariably when you have nothing to do you think
or daydream. These cannot be associated with planning and fulfilling goals. They
are just an illusion! When you expect to have periods of emptiness, fill them
with constructive tasks, positive action; rest your attention on a new task.
74. Challenge your own assumptions… If you are good, then you’ll already be high
up on the ladder to success. If you are not, then challenge your assumptions.
Being actively stuck with your old beliefs, could be the catalyst that lowers
your self-esteem in the first place.
75. Set up Triggers… Building self-esteem is not just thinking good of yourself,
it’s about not thinking bad for no reason. Say the wrong words and you catapult
your emotional state into the gutter. For no apparent reason you start to think
bad of yourself. Begin to see this happening and understand the triggers that
take you off-line, whilst introducing other triggers to bring you back in-line.
76. Building self confidence and keeping it… We tend to batter ourselves far too
easily, which can result in; every forward step we take, we go back two.
Building self-confidence is a slow task, but if done properly the confidence
stays built. Notice the small differences as they happen and build upon them.
77. Tolerate and Respect others… We need to foster and develop a good attitude
towards others. The moment we cultivate a hatred towards others, is the moment
that we also we feel bad about ourselves and our self-esteem plummets.
78. Avoid being defensive… Being defensive is a typical reaction and sign that
your self-esteem is low. You may only half sense someone wanting to criticise
you and your shackles are up and you want to interrupt every conversation with a
defensive remark. You may lack confidence and respond with arrogance and
contempt as the last thing you want is to appear a failure.
79. Avoid trying to impress… Do not focus on trying to prove your worth to
others with impressive behaviour. Leading by example can be impressive and that
is okay, but to over emphasize, perhaps by exaggeration, your impressive
behaviour will send your self-esteem very low if your presentation isn’t well
received.
80. Don’t harbour bad memories or problems... Whether problems are from your
work place or your family life, the longer you hold onto them without them being
resolved, the longer you keep the emotion attached to them. No individual will
present you with a gold watch for your merit in holding onto a bad situation.
Start with an intention to resolve it and then allocate a few moments to dwell
on a resolution.
81. Improve your understanding of Competence… You need to have the ability to do
what is required. Not just look as if you know what you are doing.
82. Aim for worthiness… this is not the same as being impressive and slightly
different to competence. Each task you perform needs to be worthy of other
peoples expectations. From the moment you receive either communication or body
language as approval of your worthiness, your self-esteem is lifted.
83. Be wary of too much praise… From childhood we have sometimes been
over-praised unnecessarily. In an attempt to motivate, praise has been used
incorrectly as no specific accomplishment has been made. The result is an
inflated sense of worth and as a consequence will eventually be seen as false
and your self-esteem will plummet.
84. Encourage accurate self appraisal… Through meaningful accomplishments, we
can review the work done and acknowledge the significance. Reviewing any
progress will bolster our attitude and help us to continue to strive for
perfection.
85. It happens at every level… Self-esteem isn’t selective to any one particular
category of our community. Low self-esteem can strike anybody. It could be with
relevance to a career, a lover, an event or an occasion. It could be a surgeon
about to do a seminar, or it could be a school teacher addressing a class for
the first time.
86. Perception of Self-Esteem… A poor understanding could lead to a confused
state of mind. People could think they have the symptoms, when in actual fact it
is something rather tame. This misunderstanding will lead to regular swings of
mood and the likelihood that poor self-esteem will arrive very soon.
87. Self-Esteem in Children… The main fear children have is that of acceptance
in the adult world as they leave school. The extent to which children believe
they have the characteristics valued by important adults and peers in their
lives, figures greatly in their development.
88. Improving Children’s Self-Esteem… Parents can play an important role in
building a child’s self-esteem. Firstly they need to take their views and
opinions seriously. Secondly they need to acknowledge the value within them.
Finally they need to respect how important self-esteem is for a child’s
development.
89. Good self-esteem means… It gives you the courage and adventure to try new
things, it encourages you to both lead by example and feel proud. It gives you
belief! It allows you to respect yourself and respect others. It conditions your
thought patterns to get the best out of both body and mind.
90. Avoid Self-Criticism… We all have a little bit of this within us. Criticism
can leave the receiver feeling upset, depressed and rather frustrated, which of
course is rarely useful. Muttering, chuntering, mumbling and talking to yourself
are often signs of someone criticising themselves.
91. Avoid Gossip… It can ruin lives, assassinate reputations, split families,
alienate friends and destroy businesses. The complete opposite of course is a:
peaceful life, healthier relationships and overall prosperity.
92. Use Good Words… Would you like your words to soothe instead of sting? Heal
instead of hurt? Build instead of burn?
93. Don’t give excuses… Weak and feeble excuses lose you credibility. They
almost sound like lies. If there is an element of truth, nurture that thought of
truth and make it more plausible.
94. Jumping to Conclusions…To jump to a conclusion and make an early decision
without the proper facts could mean you have to back-track later. Rarely, which
could mean never if you allow it to; will a decision not wait until you have all
the facts.
95. Help others to help yourself… The ultimate aim in improving your self-esteem
is to feel better about yourself. Try helping someone else. To help another will
invigorate the soul and bring a smile to your face.
96. Astound yourself… Prove to yourself that you can do this. You’ve almost read
100 ideas, try and practice what has been said and monitor closely the
improvement. It is a common fact that many think they cannot do anything to
improve their self-esteem, because they already feel low. When you are negative
you can’t see any positives. Take a step to one side and apply one of these
principles. You’ll be surprised what happens!
97. Don’t repeat… Memories can be triggers for both happiness and sadness. If
you know of an area that brings you sadness, avoid going there.
98. Faith… Over the past five years many professions have studied that those who
have a faith are healthier in both mind and body. This does not just mean
religion, but also a faith in such as wisdom and philosophy. Visit the pages of
a book, listen to therapeutic music. Whatever induces a certain contentment is a
faith.
99. Consider the truth… Every decision you make, from what to have for breakfast
to a change of career, try and allow a truth to flow. For breakfast for example,
try and visit every cupboard where you store food, allow your eyes to rest on
the options and one item will dominate your thoughts; this very thought could be
the ingredients your body wants. You may for example choose fruit to supply the
necessary vitamin ‘c’. If the thought arose naturally then you’ll find you enjoy
the food and your body is enriched. If you were to allow this natural process to
operate more often and you begin to trust in the answers it presents; the
decisions seem to be pure and much more worthy.
100. Respect yourself… Not in a big way as that will come with time, but respect
your next choice. If you choose to leave your house ten minutes earlier and walk
by the lake and your persona is lifted slightly because of the beauty then allow
recognition for that. Respect the smaller movements you make and the big will
fall into place like the cog of a wheel.
QUOTATIONS:
“People with high self-esteem seem to attract the best in life” Eva
“"When you have a great and difficult task, something perhaps almost impossible,
if you only work a little at a time, every day a little, suddenly the work will
finish itself."
- Isak Dinesen, Danish Writer
“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do
not dare that they are difficult.” (Seneca).
“Being right is one more good reason for not succeeding.” (Nicolas Davila).
“No good can give us pleasure if we do not share it with others.” (Seneca) .
“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”
“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the
shore.”
“You will always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.”
“When you help someone ask nothing in return, you will receive your reward ten
times over.”
“Always do your best so you can be proud that you gave it your best shot.”
“Care about the happiness and success of others and offer them all the help and
encouragement they need.”
“Talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.”
“Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you
have.” Doris Mortman
“Winners are too busy to be sad, too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to
be fearful, and too determined to be defeated.”
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.” Charles
Dickens
“The present is the future you envisioned for yourself long ago.”
“A 'No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'Yes'
merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.” Mahatma Gandhi
“If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound
ourselves.” Thomas Edison.
“Never let yesterday use up too much of today.” Kobi Yamada.
“If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've
always got.”
“Live each and every day as if it were your last --- because one day you'll be
right.”
“You can't choose your circumstances, but you can choose to overcome them.”
“Self-esteem is found in God and God alone!”
“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” -- The Buddha.
“If God wanted me Otherwise, He would of made me Otherwise” Goethe.
“If you want something you've never had before, you're got to do something
you've never done before.” Drina Reed
“You won't gain respect from others if you don't respect yourself.”
“If you don’t paddle your own canoe, you don’t move.”
“Life is not a dress rehearsal.”
“How can you smell like a rose if you live in the garbage!”
“Never let a shadow be cast over an achievement by an ego that wants to stand
too tall.”
“You will never get a hit, if you don't get off the bench and bat.“
“The best way to improve your self-esteem is to understand yourself “
“Everyday, and in every way, I am getting better and better." - Emile Coue
(1857-1926)
“We are what we think we are.”
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve." - Dr.
Napoleon Hill
“The price you put on yourself; has always been fully paid for by years of
experience.”
“Follow the crowd, and soon you will be lost in it.”
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