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ZEN

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INTRODUCTION to our subject – Emotional Stability

If only!

We all suffer a rollercoaster ride far too often, but this is because we allow our emotions to dominate. If we reside in anger for any length of time we somehow find justification for revenge. If we allow our ego to dominate we become greedy and selfish.

Our minds are busy and it is this busyness that can tire us out. Take a day off work and find out how tiring it is doing nothing.

QUOTE: "Minds are like parachutes, they only function when they are open." (Thomas Dewar)

As you focus on reading this newsletter, you’ll forget the troubles of the day. Study for a moment how valuable such practice can be. When your attention in pinpointed to doing one task, all other troubles take a back seat. The moment you allow them to re-enter your conscious mind the less attention you give to the job in hand.

This principle is the same with emotions. If you are sad but engross yourself in a good book your sadness seems to disappear until your pinpointed attention is lost. You are not losing the emotion of sadness but you’re not allowing it to conquer your power of reason and decision making.

Decisions made in negative situations are poor. So we need to practice giving our full attention to other tasks. When we recognise how powerful this distraction of full attention is we can chip away at resolving bad emotions.

Unless we truly focus on the job in hand we tend to day dream. This system of wandering may be with us for many hundreds of years, until we stabilize our emotions to the point of perfection.

So what to do?

We must have two main objectives. Firstly we must reduce the peaks and the troughs and secondly always have a short term goal.

In the United Kingdom we have a television advert running that states for every GOOD event that occurs there is an equally DUMB thing that occurs elsewhere in the world. Amusing as the advert is, it constantly reminds me that we experience peaks and troughs every day and every hour.

One moment we can be extremely happy and then out of the blue we receive a telephone call about an ill relative and suddenly the swing starts and the trough begins opening, to include sadness, misery, anger, lethargy, hopelessness, grief, sorrow, unhappiness, gloom, despondency, woe and possibly depression.

Our response is imperative! Do we wallow in all those negative emotions or do we respond with a positive to avoid the trough being too deep? A positive reaction may be to offer your support. Instead of thinking about the sadness of the illness, by offering your support the ill person will gain strength from knowing others care. We easily bury our head in the sand should an occasion arise where a relative becomes ill.

There must have been a time when you have been either ill or facing a mountain to climb and some distant relative has arrived with their own walking boots and said, “I’ll walk with you to offer encouragement.” You’ve smiled no matter how painful your circumstances are.

The way to avoid the extremities of our emotions is to reduce peaks and troughs. The most effective way is to apply full attention; to focus 100% rather than do a job whilst contemplating your current list of troubles.

As for small goals… I’m not suggesting that you don’t have big goals but you must have small goals. Small goals are the reason you get up and work. Small goals are the reason you clean your house and the main reason you self develop. Today for example, along with my days work I must shop for a birthday present, visit the garage for an assessment and I have chosen to try my luck on the mid-week lottery. All of which need extra effort to squeeze into my day; but I’m up for all of them. Each day will offer up a few small goals; don’t consider them to be toil, enjoy them and they will brighten up your soul.

A small goal encourages a positive feeling; the emotion you reside in during this accomplishment will assist in prolonging serenity and happiness.

In conclusion our emotional stability means a balanced emotional state of mind which is difficult to maintain with so many distractions that we encounter daily; but what we can do is to lessen the peaks and troughs so the ride is more comfortable. We must expect during every day a trough to begin and upon noticing this developing we must think of a positive move that will lessen its blow. If we acknowledge they happen regularly we will be able to see them arriving.

Take your walking boots, sometime today you’ll need them…

Two classic stories follow illustrating the extremity of our emotions if we allow them to follow the wrong path.

Onto our stories of illustration…

2. STORY 1

THE DESIRE FOR GOLD

“Once four men set out on a business trip, carrying fire-arms for protection. They met a Mahatma (wise farmer) on the way. He warned them not to go that way as there was danger. They did not listen to him and said that they were well-equipped to face any danger.

As they went further, they found a brick of gold lying on the ground. Rejoicing at their find, they wrapped it up in a piece of cloth with the idea of dividing it amongst themselves.

As night fell, two of them went to a neighbouring village to get some food and two stayed behind. When they had gone, those staying behind felt tempted to keep the brick for themselves and conspired to shoot the other two when they returned.

Those who had gone to the village had a hearty meal. While returning with food for the other two, they also succumbed to temptation of keeping the brick for themselves and conspired to do away with their companions. So they mixed poison with the food they were taking for them.

When they returned with the food, the other two shot them dead. But they were hungry. So they at once devoured the food brought for them. They fell asleep never to wake again.”

(Shankaracharya of Jyotir Math)

3. STORY 2

REVENGE

…Once upon a time, there was a wise man who insisted that to live well, one had to be positive and thankful for all of life.

One day, a traveller came to him and said, “How can I be positive? Nothing goes right in life! I’ve been badly hurt by people I have trusted, and now I want revenge!”

The wise man shook his head. “What would you do to those that hurt you?” he asked.

“I’d tear them limb from limb… I’d ruin their business… I’d…” and he broke off. “Can you help me get revenge?” he begged.

“Yes’” said the wise man. “I’ll certainly help you, but first you must do two things for me.”

“I will,” said the traveller.

“First,” said the wise man, “I want you to tear a branch off that tree over there.”

The traveller readily went to the tree and twisted off a large branch. “There you are! What’s the second thing?”

The wise man smiled. “Now put it back,” he said.

The traveller stood staring. “I can’t do that,” he said.

“No,” said the wise man. “So remember this; it’s very easy to wound and destroy, but it is more difficult to repair the damage that has been done. Note that the tree won’t hurt you back. It will go on growing and bearing fruit. It’s much better to be creative than destructive - - even to people that have hurt you.”...

For every moment you want revenge, and then realize it is both pitiful and destructive, there is a moment of sweetness soon after; as you settle for a positive attitude instead of a negative.

Rather than wallow in your own sadness, rejoice in the skill you have developed to overcome your revenge.

(Buddhist Story)

4. ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS

QUESTION: “I know your newsletter is more wisdom than ‘self development’; but my question is, “I’m stuck in the same old rut day after day, but I want to change my life! How can I do that when I appear to be surrounded by things and events that tie me to the same lifestyle?”

ANSWER: Firstly there are opportunities that arise each and every day. These we tend to ignore if we are comfortable. Your lifestyle may actually be comfortable; what you may need to do is introduce one item that is new. For example each Friday night instead of doing the same thing try and do something completely different.

So, if this small addition to your week isn’t enough, then try adding or altering again with another new idea the following week. Life is about being happy and content and sometimes it isn’t a complete change you want but a simple alteration.

This next story illustrates that there is another life for you to experience; it maybe just around the corner or simply overhead. But unless you do make small alterations gradually or try new things in your life you’ll never know. The simple answer is to allow room for the NEW as that ‘new’ maybe your destiny.

THE EAGLE

A man found an eagle's egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.

All his life the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings.

The old eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked.

"That's the eagle, the king of the birds," said his neighbour. "He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth-- we're chickens." So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he thought he was

(Unknown Author)

5. PHILOSOPHICAL TIPS & QUOTES

"It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end." (Ursula Le Guin)

"Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on one's ideas, to take a calculated risk - and to act." (Maxwell Maltz, Author of Psycho-Cybernetics)

"If you sow the seed of good, it will grow into seven ears and then yield seven hundred good deeds." (Uzbek founder of Sufic Islam Khazreti Mohammed Bakhauddin Nakhshbandi (1318-1389))

”People who care about other people are on average happier than those who are more preoccupied with themselves.” (Richard Layard)

Bye for now.
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Phil Booker
Editor, Author, Businessman and Philosopher of Life.
 

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